Coming out and Coming to Terms.

By Anonymous, 19

I hate that I need to "come out". Why do I need to be defined in black and white? Why must it be some sacred proclamation, about who I like, or who I love? I grew up in a strict Asian family. My parents were, to put it simply, very politically active against the LGBTQ+ community. They didn't support it - in fact, they were disgusted with the idea of men wearing heels, or women with women.

So even as a girl who listened to girl in red, clairo - who got a mullet and wore the chunkiest jewelry I could find - who celebrity crushes on Ana de Armas and Halle Bailey - I was in denial. I hated the idea of it: coming out, and accepting myself. It was sophomore year when I had my first girlfriend. We had become best friends, then unofficial (but quietly serious) homecoming dates. I didn't come out, I didn't tell my friends, but when I told them about this new development, their eyebrows flew up. They had questions I couldn't answer, and although I met my girlfriend's parents two months later, I never had the courage to introduce her to my parents as something more as a friend.

Sadly, she moved away, and we broke up. And slowly, I came to terms. Perhaps I will never "come out" to my parents. But this is who I am, and I do not fit in a box. My sexuality is not black and white, but for now, I am content.