Falling out with my Childhood Best friends.

By Stacey K., 20

Credit: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (2005)

(Names altered for privacy)

Together, our initials made STAR. Stacey, Talia, Alice, and Reagan. Our mothers were best friends, naturally, and so they made sure that the first people we knew out of the womb were one another. And just as within our mother’s 4-woman squad, there were pairs, it was the same case for us. I was particularly close with Talia, Alice with Reagan. Our mothers weren’t paired up this way, but they didn’t mind - nor did they notice. We were all stuck at the hip. Typing away on chunky computers and laggy cells, our group chats, connected cells, and tendency to 4-way twin it out, was commendable.

We lasted until middle school, and another girl joined our group: Maia. Together, we were STARM. MARST. Then, MARS(T). It was devastating to see Talia leave, pack up her bags for Houston, Texas. Talia became our / my internet best friend, and Maia became mine. Now, this might seem really silly to hear, and sad. But in eighth grade, nothing was ever that serious. We forgot, forgave, and made up. We sang “Dumb ways to die” on the hill during recess, and IMed one another photos of our new Justice clothing. Together, we tried out for Disney channel TV shows and sent in blurry headshots and cringey dancing videos. And together, we all dropped from the audition.

I would say that MARS lasted throughout high school. Talia, living in Texas, stayed my best friend. She was the person who knew about my first kiss, my first boyfriend - first. But MARS was who I went to gossip with. I had other friends from hockey, from clubs, from extracurriculars. So did Maia, Alice, and Reagan. Reagan was a part of the cheer and dance squad, and invited us to homecoming photos and parties we were never in the group chats for. Alice loved theater (not to the geeky extent, but she had an amazing voice), and Maia was under some serious pressure to get into a good - no, great college. She founded two nonprofits, ran the school through Student Council (she quit after she lost the presidency to someone who didn’t deserve it and that we all swore to hate afterwards), and was good friends with our principal due to how many awards she earned for our school. I was into sports, got recruited to a college I was content with, but spent most of my time lounging with a 3.5 GPA and snuck out on weekdays.

I think we lasted because we knew each other very well. We were secure, and we were happy with one another. We also had different tastes. One of us told the rest that she was a lesbian in the secrecy of a sophomore year sleepover. One of us was into solely baseball boys, one didn’t date at all, and one of us was into one guy throughout high school. The last one, being me, kissed him at a party my junior year. He was fresh out of a breakup, and I was definitely not into making a move on someone with a girlfriend. But it was my chance, and afterwards, he walked away, went on to kiss two more girls that night, and got back with his girlfriend before his graduation the next day. Men. He completely ruined my taste, to this day.

MARS was indestructible, although we had our fights. There weren’t many, and I can’t remember a single one now, but one was our senior year of high school, between Maia and Reagan. It was about college, about essays and resumes. It was what pressure did to a person and their relationships, and there were a few cracks that year I hadn’t seen before. Talia came to visit around 4-5 times that year, staying with me each time for weeks. Both of us just wanted to have a good senior year.

Talia and I are still best friends, but in my sophomore year of college, I haven’t talked to MARS for a while. It feels strange, and this thought came to me just recently. The last text we sent to one another was “YAY!” texted by Reagan. It was after Maia told us about how her first boyfriend had asked her to their college formal. It’s been a few seasons since then. Here’s the thing. People fall apart, and people leave. It's the natural flow of life, and there’s still a lot of time for MARS, STAR, or MARST to come back into my life. It truly is, all about time.