My boyfriend just came out to me, and I don’t know how to feel.

Anonymous, 20

I met my first love in the fall, right before freshman homecoming. We met through a mutual friend, and I remember feeling an immediate attraction toward him. He was absolutely gorgeous, and at the pool party we were at, I became incredibly tongue tied when I talked to him.

We were long distance for our first year in college. He visited once or twice, and so did I. I truly was in love. Perhaps it was just naivety, but I didn’t suspect anything at all. Then, this summer, he came out to me.

I’m incredibly supportive and do not have anything against the gay/lgbtq community. And coming out, I know, is supposed to be celebratory and accepting. But when he told me, the only thing that I felt through my veins was cold, hard disappointment and betrayal. He told me he had been having crushes on other guys - my male roommate. He told me that he was sorry, that he felt horrific. But I felt like I had just been cheated on - even though he had just come out to me. It felt wrong to love him, because he could not love me back, no matter what. It felt wrong to think about everything I had texted him, did with him, felt with him. I couldn’t take it back, and so I smiled, told him congratulations, and that we could still be friends.

It’s now the end of summer and I still don’t know what to think. We used to talk about marriage (silly, I know), and planning a trip to Europe our sophomore summer. I can’t help but miss him, but all of it feels wrong.